Once upon a time there was a little girl called Alice who was dozing in the afternoon in a meadow when she imagined she saw a rabbit with a watch running fast and saying “I am late”.
She got up and followed the rabbit who jumped into a hole in the ground, and both fell and fell until they landed with a thump somewhere deep below.
Alice was immediately arrested by some soldiers and brought before a Queen. This Queen was surrounded by spoons (chamchas) who had titles of Ministers and bureaucrats, but were nevertheless only spoons, and not human beings. Whatever the Queen would say they would respectfully, nod their heads in agreement and say “Quite right, your Majesty, quite right. How wise you are.”
The Queen said that she once saw a cat carrying away a camel, and they nodded their heads and said “Quite right, your Majesty” (following the advice of the Hindu adage ‘Oonth billee le gayee to haanji haanji kehna’).
There were many persons who were brought before the Queen for trial for high crimes like asking for rice at Rs. 2 per kg (which she had promised before becoming Queen), or asking for some relief to farmers who were dying, or making cartoons of her, or protesting against rape of a woman.
The Queen had one simple solution of settling all difficulties, great or small, and dealing with such troublemakers in her kingdom (or rather queendom). She proclaimed all such persons as Maoists, and said “Off with their heads”
She had a peculiar notion that anything that had a head should be without one. Of course she forgot that she too had a head, but whether there were any brains in that head is a matter of conjecture.
She had a peculiar notion that anything that had a head should be without one. Of course she forgot that she too had a head, but whether there were any brains in that head is a matter of conjecture.
Now this Queen was a great admirer of another great Queen, Marie Antoinette of France, who said that if the people do not have bread they should eat cake. Our Queen slightly altered that saying, and proclaimed “If the people do not have bread, let them eat Rabindra Sangeet.”
So she had loudspeakers put all over her kingdom (or rather, queendom) which blared out Rabindra Sangeet day and night to fill the empty stomachs of her subjects.
The subjects were very happy with such a great Queen who could fill their stomachs on music alone. After all, has not the great Shakespeare said that music is the food of love (Twelfth Night)? So the Queen decided that Rabindra Sangeet will take the place of food in her queendom, and when Alice appeared before the Queen for her trial her eardrums were rattling with Rabindra Sangeet.
Now it so happened that when Alice was brought forward for her trial the Queen was quite naked. This happened because a few days before two of the spoons who were always surrounding her and praising her (i.e. doing chamchagiri) promised the Queen a new suit of clothes which were extremely beautiful but was invisible to stupid and incompetent persons.
They pretended to put their clothes on the Queen, and the other spoons, fearing that they may not be dismissed for being stupid and incompetent, starting admiring these ‘beautiful clothes’, although the Queen was stark naked.
They pretended to put their clothes on the Queen, and the other spoons, fearing that they may not be dismissed for being stupid and incompetent, starting admiring these ‘beautiful clothes’, although the Queen was stark naked.
The Queen, too, could not see these clothes, but for fear of appearing unfit did not say so, and she came into her court in these ‘beautiful’ garments, i.e. stark naked.
When Alice was brought before the Queen she was startled at seeing a naked women, and said “But you have no clothes”. This made the Queen furious and she said “Off with her head”, at which Alice, who got angry too, said “This joke has gone on too long. Off with yours”. And at this all the people there beheaded the Queen, and now all her spoons are facing a trial somewhat like that held in Nuremburg.
Another classic post. I just love the sarcastic tone of your writing. It should be hard-hitting, but there will be a whole bunch of people who may just now understand what message is being sent out.
ReplyDeleteMs. Banerjee has gone bonkers with her autocratic style of functioning. No wonder, she has been voted in with a heavy mandate, but not for what she is doing. She promised moon to people and is giving sticks in return. This mindless lady should be voted out by the people.
Excellent! When I get frustrated with what all is going around India, I come to read your blog.. At least someone has guts to write sane things!
ReplyDeleteThe queen is indeed suffering from Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, her perception has changed, the gravity of maoist problem is lost in the triviality of perception. great article sir.
ReplyDelete