Baba and the Fakirs
A story by Voltaire ( written in 1750 )

When I was in the city of Benares on the banks of the Ganges,  the ancient land of the Brahmans, I strove to learn. I understood Hindi fairly well. I listened much and noted everything. I was staying with my friend Om. He was a Brahman, the worthiest man I have ever known.
 One day we went together to a temple. There we saw several holy men. As is well known, they have a learned language, Sanskrit , in which is written a sacred book they call the Veda.
 I passed in front of a holy man who was reading this book.
" O wretched infidel " he cried " You have made me forget the number of vowels I was counting. Because of that my soul will go into a rabbit's body when I die, instead of going into a parrot's, as I had every reason to hope it would "
  I gave him a rupee to console him.
A few steps from there I had the misfortune to sneeze, which awakened a yogi who was in samadhi.
" Where am I ? " he cried out. " What a calamity ! I can no longer see the end of my nose. The celestial light has disappeared."
" If I am the cause ", I said to him " of your not being able to see the end of your nose, here is a rupee to repair the harm. Now go back to your celestial light ".
 My friend Om then took me to the cell of the most famous of the holy men, whose name was Baba. He was naked as a monkey, and around his neck had a chain that weighed over sixty pounds. He was sitting on a chair which had nails penetrating into his buttocks. Many women came to consult him. He was the oracle of every family, and enjoyed a very great reputation.
 Om had a long talk with him.
" Do you believe swamiji " Om said to him " that after seven lives and seven transmigrations of my soul I may reach the abode of Brahma ? "
 " That depends on how you live " said Baba.
 " I strive " said Om " to be a good citizen, a good husband, a good father, and a good friend. I give money to the poor, and I maintain peace among my neighbours "
" Do you sometimes put nails in your arse ? " asked Baba.
" Never, swamiji " replied Om.
" I am sorry, but then you will certainly never reach the abode of Brahma " said Baba